


Girl Meets Los Angeles

by David_Ginsberg



Series: World Meets Girl [2]
Category: Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-23 09:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 6,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11399919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/David_Ginsberg/pseuds/David_Ginsberg
Summary: When Katy gets a part in Cory's new TV show, the entire Matthews and Hart families move out to Los Angeles. Maya and Riley start attending The Hoover School with a couple of other new students, Shawn's son, and another kid with a connection to Cory's past.





	1. Chapter 1

After the kids went to bed, Cory and Topanga sat down in the living room.

“So,” Cory said, “I got a call from the network today.”

“And?”

“They picked up my pilot.”

“That’s great! Oh, and I’m so happy for Katy.”

“Yeah. So, with two shows at once, I’m probably going have to be out in L.A. a lot.”

“I’m sure we’ll make it work.”

“Well, actually I was thinking it might be better to move out there.”

“Oh.” Topanga didn’t look as excited as Cory was hoping.

“I mean, we do have a lot of connections out there. Shawn, Jack, Eric…”

“Eric’s flying back and forth between LA and DC, Cory, and he’ll probably be campaigning most of the time he’s in California.”

“Well, and Katy’s going to move out there, so it would be good for Riley and Maya.”

“But my firm doesn’t have an office in LA, Cory, and I’m not sure a firm in L.A. could match the profits per partner.”

“I know, sweetie, but I’m running two shows now.”

“It’s still not as much as I’m making, and we’re going to have college to think about in a few years.”

“I know, but you gave up a lot for me. You never wanted to work in Biglaw, but you did for 12 years while I chased my dream, and now that I’ve caught it, I think its time for you to get to chase yours.”

“There is about to be a lot more demand for public interest lawyers…we’ll sleep on it.”


	2. Chapter 2

Riley was surprisingly amenable to the move once she found out that Maya would be coming with her. Auggie was still too young to be upset about anything for more than 10 minutes. Once the final decision had been made, Topanga and Cory left the kids with his parents and flew out to LA look for houses with the realtor Shawn had suggested. Unfortunately, she seemed to have used Shawn as the benchmark for assessing Cory and Topanga’s taste, and every house on her list was ultra-modern and, to Cory, oppressively sterile.

“Umm…do you have anything with a more traditional architectural design? My daughter had a bay window in our apartment back in New York, and we think it would help her adjust…”

“I know just the place. 247 North Kenter Avenue.”

They drove up to Brentwood. “So what did you say you do again?”

“I’m a public interest attorney. My husband’s in television.”

“Oh, do you have anything out currently?”

“ _Boy Meets World,”_ Cory responded, glad for the attention, “and I have a new show premiering this fall; _Maybe This Time.”_

“So mass market. Well this should be just within your budget.”

The house was an expansive midcentury ranch with a large, tree-filled backyard and a pool. The living room had built-in shelves for Topanga's law books, and every room in the back of the house had a bay window.

“I think we’ve found the one.” Topanga said.


	3. Chapter 3

The plan was to fly out to Los Angeles ahead of the Independence Day weekend. Cory and Katy would start filming _Maybe This Time_ after the holiday, and everyone would start looking for a place to live.

It was a long flight, with Maya and Riley babbling about everything they were going to do in Los Angeles (mostly shopping and tracking down internet celebrities), and Auggie being a general pest the whole way. Cory must have looked pretty bedraggled by the time he got out on the concourse, because the first thing Shawn said to him was “Remind me next time to figure out a way for you to borrow the company jet.”

“How ya’ doin?” Cory asked in response.

“I’m good. Jack and Rachel are back at the house, and Eric should be getting in this evening.”

“Eric’s back? I thought he was filibustering the health care law?”

“Apparently they went into recess without voting on it. He’s back in town to do some veterans thing for the fourth and then he’s coming to the barbeque.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah, and the head of the welcoming committee for the Hoover School has rounded up some other new kids, so they’ll be coming too.”

Shawn had gotten a pair of taxis to drive the group and their luggage back to his house, a rectilinear statement of glass, concrete, and marble that seemed designed to ward off memories of the Pink Flamingo Trailer Park. Jack and Rachel were standing out front with their kids, who quickly got shuffled off to play with Auggie.

“Who are these people?” Maya whispered to Riley.

“Uncle Jack and Aunt Rachel. I think Jack is either Shawn’s brother or Mr. Feeny’s son.”

“Wait, if he’s Shawn’s brother, doesn’t that make him my uncle?”

Shawn, who had overheard him through the strange law of physics that makes it impossible to have a private conversation within 100 feet of Cory Matthews, leaned in to explain. “Jack’s my half-brother on my dad’s side.”

“Think of me as your step-uncle,” Jack volunteered.

Maya and Riley unloaded their things in the guest house (which was attached to the main house by a finished basement) and explored the house, which included a movie theater, a pool with a breathtaking view of the Los Angeles skyline, and a collection of abstract art. By the time they’d finished, Eric had arrived and it was time for dinner, which meant that they were subjected to Shawn’s cooking.

The conversation at dinner quickly turned to politics, which bored Riley, Maya, and Cory. Topanga had been complaining loudly about President Trump to anyone who would listen since he’d gotten elected, and within a few minutes Shawn and Jack, whose interest was more pecuniary in nature, were equally bored.

“I do have some good news,” Eric volunteered, “I killed that bill that would let the Condax Corporation build a natural gas pipeline through the Everglades.”

“I know.” Jack grumbled.

“You do? Do you watch C-SPAN?”

“No, I _own_ the Condax Corporation, and Shawn bought up the land we were going to build the export terminal on.”

Jack should have known better to say that when Topanga was already worked up. “The Everglades are an important part of our natural heritage Jack, and a major reservoir for biodiversity.”

“Besides,” Eric interrupted, “isn’t that insider trading?”

“Insider trading only covers securities, not land,” Jack responded, “we checked.”

“Yeah,” Shawn added, “with _Topanga_.” He eyed Topanga suspiciously.

“What can I say?” Topanga said, smiling sweetly, “I learned how to scheme from the master.”


	4. Chapter 4

Noah had been assigned to introduce Maya and Riley to his friends at the Independence Day barbeque. He was talking to Kassie Henriquez when they saw a big black Rolls-Royce pull up. A man, his wife, and their three kids got out, and the man said something to the driver.

“Oh, God. Hide me,” Kassie whispered

“Who’s that?” Riley asked.

“That,” said Noah, “is Farkle.”

“Farkle?”

“Farkle.”

Kassie noticed that Topanga was coming towards them, with the intention of telling Maya and Riley to try the shrimp puffs, and hid behind her.

Farkle noticed Riley and Maya, and made a bee line for them. “Hello, ladies. Noah, why didn’t you introduce me to your friends?”

“They just moved here. This is my cousin, Maya, and her best friend Riley.”

“Delighted.” Farkle took Riley’s hand, and kissed it.

Topanga stepped in between them. “And I’m Riley’s mother.”

“I see where she gets her beauty from.”

Noah intervened. “Hey, Farkle; Demi Lovato's by the pool if you want to go talk to her.”

Topanga waited until Farkle was safely out of earshot. “That kid is a Title IX case waiting to happen. Noah, you didn’t tell me Demi Lovato was here.”

“She isn’t; I've never met her. But it’ll probably take Farkle at least an hour to figure it out.”

Topanga patted Noah on the back. “Smart kid.”

“Wait’ll you meet his parents.” Kassie said.

“She already has.” Noah responded.

“I have?”

Just then, Farkle’s parents walked over to them.

Topanga gasped. “Stuart, is that you?”

“Indeed it is, Topanga.”

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize you had a kid at Hoover.”

“Yes,” Mrs. Minkus responded. “Our little Farkle is at the top of his class.”

“I’m sure he and Riley will be best friends.” Minkus said.

“Have you tried the shrimp puffs? They’re absolutely to die for.”

“Actually, we just got here. You didn’t see where Farkle went, did you?”

“I think he’s by the pool.” Noah volunteered.

Topanga breathed a sigh of relief when they left.

“You know the Minkuses, Mrs. Matthews?” Kassie asked.

“We went to school together.” Topanga explained. “Lets go find your dads.”

They found Shawn and Cory talking to Luna Meraz, who headed the PTA welcoming committee.

“Glad you guys are here,” she said, “There’s a couple of other new families I’d like you to meet. The Friars and Babineauxs both got transferred here from Texas. Girls, this is Lucas and Isaiah.”

“Call me Zay.” He shook Maya’s hand.

“So you guys just moved here too?” Lucas asked as they moved away from the adults.

“Yeah, my dad got his second TV show picked up.”

“What’s his first show?”

“ _Boy Meets World.”_

“Cool, that’s my favorite show!” Lucas exclaimed. “What does your dad do, Maya?”

“My mom’s an actress. She’s actually in Mr. Matthews’ other show.”

“Is that how you guys met?”

“No, we’ve been best friends since first grade. My dad got a pilot picked up, and he figured Maya’s mom would be good for the part. And Shawn randomly turned out to be Maya’s uncle, so we figured we’d have family in the area.”

“Shawn lives around here?” Zay asked. “I figured if he was a real person he’d be in prison by now.”

“Dude, this is his _house_ ,” Noah responded, somewhat peeved. “He’s my dad.”

“Oh, umm…nice place you got here.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“So are Topanga and Minkus real too?” Lucas asked.

“Topanga’s my Mom.” Riley explained.

“Really? wouldn’t have seen that coming.”

“And Minkus,” Noah explained, “well, let’s just say Minkus reproduced.”


	5. Chapter 5

The next Friday, Shawn insisted on taking Cory and Topanga out to dinner. They drove over to Shawn’s house, and let Riley and Auggie out of the car.

Cory and Topanga went in to the living room and said hello to Shawn.

“So, uh, is the sitter here yet?” Cory asked.

“Sitter?”

“Yeah, I kind of want to meet her before we leave, you know, just for reassurance.”

“What sitter?”

“You didn’t get a sitter?”

“I figured Auggie could just tag along with Riley and Noah. He’ll keep ‘em honest.” Shawn winked.

“But who’s going to watch Riley and Noah?”

“Cor, they’re 11. Do you remember what I got up to at that age?”

“I do, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Ok, would it help if they stayed in the house?”

“I guess.”

Shawn yelled for Noah. “Hey, Noah!”

“What?”

“Stay in the house tonight, ok?”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

Noah rolled his eyes and turned to Riley. “Ok, we’ll just watch a movie.” He turned on the TV and flicked through his Netflix account. “Let’s see, we’ve got _Pumpkinhead 1-4_ , _Zombie Hitler_ , some nature documentary, _I’m Blowin’ Up Yer’ Head 1-6_ , _Island of the Mad Cheerleader_ …Hey!”

Cory yanked the remote out of Noah’s hands. “The nature documentary looks interesting.”


	6. Chapter 6

Eric wondered why Shawn had invited him over. His curiosity was deepened when Shawn led him into the living room. Jack, Topanga, Shawn’s next-door neighbor Evelyn Rand, and Mark Cuban were sitting around the coffee table.

Shawn clapped Eric on the shoulder. “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the 46th president of the United States.”

The assembly clapped.

Eric was confused. “Uh, did I miss something.”

“It’s a scheme.” Shawn explained.

“A scheme?”

“Not just any scheme, the _schemata de schemata_. We are going to make you, Eric Matthews, the president of the United States.”

“Why me?”

“You’ve been the mayor of Los Angeles, which checks the experience box, but you don’t have anything in your Senate voting record that will be controversial in the primary, you perform well with Latinos, Generation Z voters will love you because of Mr. Suirrels, and most importantly, you’re not an asshole.”

“Uh-huh.” Eric looked around the room suspiciously. “This isn’t one of those schemes where you can get me to do a lot of favors for you because I’m the president, is it?”

“Don’t worry,” Topanga answered, “I’m keeping a close eye on them.”

“There is one thing we need you to do, though?”

“What is it?”

“Well, every president is the opposite of the one before him. They replaced the buttoned-down war veteran with the cool young draft dodger, they replaced the philandering hippie with the evangelical family man, they replaced the shoot-from-the hip cowboy with the cool guy who gives great speeches, and then they replaced the aloof professor with pure id.”

“So what do you replace pure id with?”

“You don’t replace pure id, you replace the corrupt rapist. That’s why Jack’s been buying up newspapers. All we need you to do, is become a nice family man.”

“You want me to get married?”

“And preferably have kids.”

“Did my mom put you up to this?”

“Look, Eric, you know I owe her a lot.”


	7. Chapter 7

Josh Matthews took a bus out to Cory’s house, where he had insisted on having a meeting to discuss the script.

Riley answered the door. “Hi, Uncle Josh.”

“Hi, Riley. Is Maya here?”

“No,” Riley sighed, “she can't come over because I'm grounded for using the emergency credit card to buy clothes at Demolition.”

“Phew. I mean, ummm…I'm sorry to hear that.”

Josh walked into the living room, where Cory was sitting at a desk.

“I hear you have an admirer, Joshie.”

Josh rolled his eyes, and Cory laughed.

“Oh, come on, don’t be a bad sport about it.”

“You don’t think it’s a little inappropriate for an 11-year-old to be infatuated with an 18-year-old like that?”

“Hey, the tickets to you are a lot cheaper than Justin Bieber.”

“Great, now I’m a pedophile and a cheap date.”

“It’s not like that, she just needs an older male presence in her life.”

“I thought that’s what Shawn was for.”

“They’re working on it. It just takes people like them a little time to, you know, let their defenses down.”

“Uh-huh, what happens if she finds another older male presence while Shawn’s taking his time?”

Corey changed the subject. “So, how’s the script coming.”

“Pretty good, I think.” Josh handed Cory the draft he’d written of _Notorious,_ an episode based on an obnoxious girl with a Southern accent that Eric had supposedly dated, livened up with a plotline of Josh’s own invention in which Cory and Shawn altered the headline in the school paper to make fun of Feeny.

“Hm, the plot needs a little work, but I like the moral.”

“Thanks.”

“No really, I think this will be good for Riley, you know with her starting middle school.”

“Oh, by the way, are you supposed to be in middle school or high school in this season?”

Cory shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter. Oh, one more thing, we’ll need to write Minkus out of it.”

“What’s wrong with Minkus?

“I dunno, I kind of feel bad about the way we treated him. I’ve been reading the reviews online…”

“There’s your first mistake.”

“…and they’re all about how Shawn and I were such horrible bullies.”

“Minkus gave as good as he got, didn’t he? Wasn’t there something about Shawn’s parents not being allowed to breed?”

“Well, he was a little socially awkward…”

“And had a thing for Topanga.”

“So I decided the best thing to do would be to write him out of the show. Also, do you think Shawn and I come across as gay?”

“Only a little bit.”


	8. Chapter 8

Shawn had been deputized to take Maya back to school shopping, but, somewhat sensitive to the potential misinterpretation of a 37-year-old man taking a 12-year-old girl who wasn’t his daughter clothes-shopping, had insisted on Topanga accompanying them. Nevertheless, he needed to get Maya alone, and he took the opportunity while Topanga was arguing with a store clerk about a return policy.

“So, Maya, Josh asked me to talk to you.”

“What’d he say?”

“Well, he understands that you…like him.”

“Uh-huh.” Maya’s facial expression was disturbingly hopeful.

“But, he’s six years older than you, and you’re sort of related.”

“He’s not really my uncle, Shawn.”

“But I am, and Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were essentially my foster parents growing up, which makes him your foster uncle.”

“Foster uncle isn’t a real thing.”

Shawn sighed. “Look, you need to be going out with guys your own age. Josh is a good kid, and wouldn’t take advantage of you. That’s why he talked to me. But there are people out there who would take advantage of a kid like you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You’re twelve.”

“You forget that I know what _you_ were like when you were twelve.”

“No, you know the Cory Matthews version of what I was like when I was twelve.”

“So what was the real thing like?”

“Well, I can sure as hell tell you that I wasn’t running around after 18-year-olds.”

The conversation was brought to an abrupt end by Topanga. “Guess who just got 4,000 dollars back.”


	9. Chapter 9

Noah had been given strict parental instructions to show Riley and Maya around on their first day and make sure they didn’t feel left out. To that end, he waited around the front of the school until he saw Riley get out of her father’s sensible sedan.

“Hey, Noah, have you seen Lucas.”

“You mean Huckleberry?” Maya, who had come up behind Riley without her noticing, remarked.

“Don’t worry, we have the same first period as him.”

Naturally, Lucas was flirting with Missy Bradford when they got to first period, and Noah had a sneaking suspicion that he would be hearing about it at lunch time. He’d coordinated schedules with all of his friends ahead of time, and warned those in the same lunch about Maya and Riley, but he still didn’t think 30 minutes of moaning was going to go over well.

Noah scouted out the courtyard ahead of Riley and Maya, and was able to inform them that Lucas, but not Missy, had the same lunch period.

Adam Sullivan noticed Farkle Minkus coming towards them. “Hey guys, scoot closer together.”

“But we’re saving this seat for Lucas.” Riley objected.

“No you’re not, you’re saving it for…” Before he could finish, Farkle sat down in the empty space.

“Ladies,” he put one arm each around Riley and Maya, who immediately scooted out from under him and as far away as they could get.

Farkle seemed undeterred. “Interesting lunch line dilemma…”

“Beat it, loser!”

Farkle surveyed the scene, realized he was outnumbered, and beat a hasty retreat.

Maya saw Lucas and waved him over to their table. “Howdy.”

Lucas smiled nervously. “Hi.”

Riley laughed even more nervously. “I’m Riley.”

“I know, we met at his Dad’s Fourth of July party.” Lucas gestured to Noah. “Sorry about Zay, by the way. He thinks he’s a smoother talker than he is.”

“No offense taken. Where is he, by the way?”

“Second lunch.”

“Do we know anyone in second lunch?” Maya asked.

“Ethan Turner.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Turner’s kid.”

“Again, who?”

“Uncle Jon was my dad’s favorite English teacher in high school,” Riley explained, “and he almost adopted Uncle Shawn. Ethan’s his youngest son.”

“Wow, it’s a weird coincidence that he lives out here.”

“Not quite, Uncle Eric hired him to be the superintendent of LA Unified when he was first elected mayor.”

“How many uncles do you have?” Lucas asked.

“Actually, they’re all honorary uncles except for Uncle Josh and Uncle Eric.”

“Uncle Josh is the cute one.”

Noah rolled his eyes behind Maya's back.


	10. Chapter 10

Cory Matthews was glad that his daughter still told him how her day had gone over the dinner table. This particular week’s crisis appeared to revolve around Farkle Minkus, who had taken a romantic interest in Riley.

“Go easy on the kid,” Cory admonished, “he’s young and just figuring stuff out. You know, his Dad had a crush on Topanga at that age.”

“Mmmm….I think Stuart’s might have been a little more innocent,” Topanga responded, “Riley, have you tried telling him explicitly that you aren’t interested?”

“Yes! I called him a gross, nerdy, creep!”

“Well, maybe you could have phrased it a little better.”

“You shouldn’t have called him that,” Cory interjected, “just because he’s a little awkward doesn’t give you the right to be a bully.”

“He’s not a little awkward dad, he’s a perv.”

“Riley, don’t say that.”

“It’s true daddy, he hits on any girl he sees.”

Topanga changed the subject by complimenting Cory on the chicken, but it still bothered Cory. After Auggie had been put to bed, he went into Riley’s room and sat down on the new bay window.

Riley looked up from her bed. “What’s up, Dad?”

“I want to talk to you about Farkle.”

Riley rolled her eyes and sighed.

“I know right now he seems like a dork, but when you’re older you’ll regret making fun of him.”

“Why, because you feel bad about making fun of Minkus?”

“You know, all through elementary school Shawn and I were the cool kids, and then once we got to junior high we were at the bottom of the totem pole.”

“You mean Shawn was cool and _you_ were at the bottom of the totem pole.”

“And all of a sudden I was the one getting bullied, and it didn’t feel so good.”

“Dad, Harvey Kleiner stealing your lunch money isn’t the same thing as this Minkus kid creeping on me.”

“He’s not a creep, honey, he’s just a little awkward.”

“That doesn’t give him the right to…”

“You know what, I’ll invite the Minkuses and Lucas’s parents over for dinner. That’ll give you kids a chance to get to know each other a little better.”


	11. Chapter 11

Lucas Friar had never been invited to a TV writer’s house before. The Matthews’ house was less intimidating than Mr. Hunter’s place, but was still a lot fancier than Lucas’ house in Woodland Hills, or even back in Texas. He snuck a look around the living room while his parents were introducing Landon and Lily.

Mrs. Matthews poured his mom a glass of wine while they waited for the Minkuses to arrive

“Riley said you guys were from Austin,” Mrs. Matthews said, “I hear they have great barbeque there.”

“Round Rock, actually” Lucas’ Dad explained, “and I would say we do our barbecue a sight better than those pig-lickers in Memphis.” The adults all laughed, and Lucas winced slightly. He just hoped that he would make it through the night without his mom bringing up the story of the sheep rodeo when he was five.

The doorbell rang, and it turned out to be the Minkii. Farkle’s younger siblings turned out be smaller, but equally dorky, versions of him. Lucas really hoped that he wouldn’t get stuck sitting at a kid’s table with them and Landon.

“Lucas said you’re an attorney,” Lucas’ mom said to Topanga, “what sort of cases do you handle?”

“Actually, when we moved out here I started my own public interest firm, with generous support from the Minkus Family Foundation. Right now I’m leading a case on behalf of the Friends of the Cactus Ferruginous Pygmy Owl.”

“Oh, and what makes the cactus ferruginous pygmy owl so friendly?”

Topanga smiled “It’s habitat just so happens to be in the path of His Orangeness’s border wall.”

Lucas winced again, and his mother must have grimaced, because Topanga seemed to sense the awkwardness and changed the subject by ushering everyone outside. The Matthews had a large backyard, which included a pool and plenty of trees. The adults dispatched the kids to play while they gathered around the grill, which gave Farkle plenty of opportunity to annoy Riley. When they were called to dinner, Lucas made sure to sit between them.

Dinner turned out to be grilled chicken and peaches with a pesto sauce. Lucas had never had it before, but it was good. From the adults’ conversation, Lucas deduced that Cory did most of the family’s cooking, which struck him as somewhat unusual. He supposed it was an L.A. thing.

“I’m so excited to finally have a grill,” Cory remarked.

“I don’t know how y’all could stand it,” Mr. Friar remarked, “living without any outside space.”

“Well, we were near a park.”

“I wish we could have found somewhere with a bigger yard,” Mr. Friar continued.

“I guess that’s the advantage of Texas over L.A.,” Cory responded, “everything’s bigger.”

Mr. Friar laughed loudly. “You got that right, pardner. That, and it’s much more of a family atmosphere. You folks seem like honest, down to earth, parents.”

“Umm…thank you.”

“Wish I could say the same for some of Lucas’ other friends.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, that Hunter boy he hangs out with it seems like his father just lets him run wild. And my understanding is the parents are divorced.”

“Actually, his wife passed away a few years ago,” Mrs. Minkus said with feign sympathy, "and I don't think he knows how to handle the boy by himself." Mr. Matthews’ expression grew angry, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Mrs. Matthews elbowed him in the ribs before he could get it out.

“Noah’s really a sweet kid,” Mrs. Matthews smiled artificially, “Shawn just believes in granting kids a little more independence than most parents these days. I think his happiest childhood memories are of him and Cory exploring the world on their bikes, getting in squirt-gun fights, listening to baseball games in class, trying to make something in the blender and splattering it all over the kitchen, writing poetry for the school bully to help him impress a girl…and he wants Noah to have that kind of memories, too.”

Mrs. Friar sighed. “Things seemed so much simpler back then.”


	12. Chapter 12

Noah couldn’t help overhearing Riley’s conversation with Lucas at the lockers.

“I can’t believe my Dad’s making me go to Farkle’s stupid party, even after the way his parents behaved at that dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

“Can you believe what they said about Noah?”

Noah looked around frantically for an exit, but his path was blocked by a fat kid.

“You have to admit, his Dad does let him get away with a lot."

"It's not like he does anything bad...besides, don't you wish our parents let us get away with more?"

"I mean, sometimes...but, they're our parents, they know what's best for us."

Noah still couldn’t find an escape route as Lucas walked off in the other direction. Riley saw him and walked over to him.

“You’re blushing, what’s up?”

“You’ve inherited your father’s gift for making people overhear things.”

“Oh.”

“So what _did_ they say about me?’”

“They think you're a bad influence on Farkle.”

“What can I say? It runs in the family”

"I don't think you're a bad influence."

"Your Dad does."

"No he doesn't. He's just...overprotective sometimes."

"What'd he say about me at the dinner?"

“Actually, he was pretty mad. My mom shut it down before he could say anything. So, this party’s going to be a load of fun, huh?”

“Actually, I wasn’t invited. I guess being a bad influence has its upsides.”

They got to class and sat next to each other. The teacher began the lecture.

“Our next book will be your first Shakespeare play, _Hamlet_.”


	13. Chapter 13

Shawn and Topanga had agreed to team up for the conversation with Farkle’s parents. Shawn drove up the winding drive to the Minkus family estate, a pseudoneoclassical agglomeration perched on a promontory with a slightly better view than Shawn's house.

“Wow, who would ever expect Stu Minkus to end up in a place like this?” Topanga asked.

“Yeah,” Shawn replied bitterly, “for a few years there I thought I’d end up making more than him.”

“Well, I like your taste in architecture better.”

“Don’t tell Cory.”

They were buzzed through the gate and parked the Ferrari in the courtyard. Jennifer Minkus came out to greet them, giving Shawn a very enthusiastic hug.

“Shawn!” her voice rang out with money, “So nice to see you!”

“I’m sure, should we, uh…go in side.”

Jennifer led Shawn and Topanga through a marble foyer to a living room. Shawn sank into an overly plush armchair and stared at the extremely symmetrical objets d’art arranged on the bookshelf behind Jennifer.

Topanga cleared her throat. “We came over to talk about your son Farkle.”

“Oh, yes! I’m so grateful for the way your kids have taken him under their wings. You know how hard middle school can be for an intellectual boy like Farkle, and I really think he’s started to bloom since he met Riley. You know, he’s even throwing a party next weekend.”

Shawn saw his chance to break into the conversation. “Oh, right. The one _my kid_  didn’t get invited to. Actually, Jennifer, we’re here because Maya and Riley have expressed to Farkle on several occasions that they do not return his affections, and the message doesn’t seem to be getting through. We were hoping you could have a conversation with young Farkle about respectful relationships with women.”

“That’s something you’d know an awful lot about, isn’t it, Shawn?”

Topanga jumped in for the save. “As I recall, all of Shawn’s girlfriends were very, _very,_ willing.”

Jennifer sat back in her chair. “Very well, then. I’ll speak with Farkle. Is there anything else I can do for you.”

Shawn stood up. “No, thank you. I believe we’ll be on our way.”

Topanga smiled broadly. “You have such a lovely home.”


	14. Chapter 14

Lucas Friar found himself and Riley seated in a distant corner of the Minkus ballroom.

“So what exactly does Mr. Minkus do?”

“He owns his own company, Minkus International.”

“What do they make?”

“Robots, I think, maybe drones. Oh, no.”

Farkle walked up to them. “Greetings, fellow partygoers.”

“Hi, Farkle.”

“May I have this dance?”

Farkle pulled Riley onto the dance floor, forcing Lucas to interact with the other partygoers. He was listening to a girl named Smackle give a monologue on entomology when Riley tapped his shoulder.

“How was your dance?” he whispered.

“He was grabbing my butt the whole time!” Riley hissed, “we need to get out of here, now!”

“Where can we go? My Dad’s not coming back until 10:00.”

“I texted Maya and Noah, they’re going to meet us in a half-hour.”

Without bothering to say goodbye to Farkle, Riley and Lucas began looking for the front gate.

“So do you know why Noah’s been acting all weird around me lately?”

“Weeellll, I sort of have a talent for causing people around me to accidentally overhear things, and Noah overheard you and I talking about what Mrs. Minkus said about Noah being a bad influence. I wasn’t going to tell you, but apparently my Dad blabbed to Shawn, and now Shawn’s freaking out about it.”

“How so?”

“He’s calling Noah Slim Jim a lot, and he took him ice-skating tonight. Like, so he wouldn’t feel bad about not getting invited to the party, but without actually talking to him about it.”

“Oh, that seems…nice of him.” Lucas was mildly confused.

“Oh, he is nice. Like, he’s a really good dad to Noah and everything, but everyone thought he was a bad influence when he was a kid, and he's been worried that Noah's childhood is going to be as bad as his was ever since Aunt Sam died.”

“What happened?”

“She had cancer. It was really sad, but Noah never wants to talk about it. Like, every time you bring it up he insists he's fine and changes the subject, but you can tell he's sad, or at least not happy like he used to be.”

“Uh-huh, So what’s the deal with Maya?”

“Her dad is Shawn’s half-brother, but he left when she was five, and they were kind of poor until her mom got the part in Dad’s show.”

By the time they found the entry gate, Noah and Maya had already shown up on their bikes.

“Where to?” Noah asked.

“I should probably go home,” Lucas said, “my dad’ll be upset if I go somewhere else without telling him.”

“Ok, what’s your address?”

“4574 Winnetka Avenue.”

Noah punched the address in on his phone. “Alright, it’s about two hours if we take the busway and 90 minutes if we take Ventura Boulevard.”

“Oh, are you sure it’s not out of your way? I don’t want to keep you from getting wherever you’re going.”

Noah shrugged. “It’s not where you’re going, it’s the trip. Hop on.”

Lucas climbed on the back of Noah’s bike, and Riley got on Maya’s. They raced each other down the hill and pulled onto the busway. By the time they got to Lucas’ house, they were laughing and joking like old friends.


	15. Chapter 15

Riley went straight over to the studio after school so that she could watch the Phillies game with her dad. Cory was busy with a script rewrite, so Riley went over to talk to Skyler, the actor who played Shawn.

“Hey, Skyler.”

“Hello.” Skyler wasn’t entirely happy to see Riley.

“You’re 14 right?”

“Last I checked.”

“So you’ve probably accumulated a lot more wisdom and wordliness than me.”

“You know what I’ve learned?”

“What?”

“If you’re a child actor with a podcast, it never pays to shit on _The Fault in Our Stars.”_

“Uh-huh, what do you know about girls?”

“You’re having troubles with a girl?”

“With a boy. He keeps hitting on me, and no matter what I do he won’t stop.”

“Did you talk to your parents?”

“My Dad wants me to be nicer to him.”

“He does?”

“It’s Minkus’ kid.”

“Wait, Minkus reproduced?”

“He might be a clone, we’re not really sure.”

“Ok, what about your mom? She’s the smart one.”

“I’ll try that, thanks.”

That evening, Riley waited until Cory went to tuck Auggie into bed and approached Topanga.

“So, mom.”

“What’s up?”

“You know Farkle that I go to school with?”

Topanga frowned. “Did he say something to you?”

“Well, he keeps hitting on me and Maya, and…”

“Keeps?”

“Yeah.”

“Was this before or after his party?”

“During.”

“Ugh. We _talked_ to his mother.”

“Wait, Dad knows about this?”

“No, Shawn and I. He’s been bothering Maya, too. Do you think we should call the school?”

“No, if he gets in trouble he’ll just be mad at me.”

Topanga sighed. “I do not miss middle school.”

“Oh, come on. When you were in middle school all you had to worry about was Harvey Kleiner taking your lunch money.”

“That’s how your father remembers it.”

“What doesn’t he remember.”

“Well, Stuart never got along with your father or Shawn, and he said some things to Shawn which he didn’t really understand the meaning of. Your father, being your father, stood up for Shawn, and there were several occasions where it got physical. Which, is totally not a good way to solve your problems and you should never, ever do, but it was a different time, so eventually, your father started to feel bad about the way he handled it, and now the way he remembers it he and Shawn were bullying Minkus rather than the other way around. Anyway, I’ll try talking to the school about Farkle, but I'll tell them not to use your name. I'm sure you two aren't the only girls he's like this with.”


	16. Chapter 16

Shawn and Cory both went to the school’s art show with the primary intention of supporting Maya, but they ended up staring at Riley’s painting of fruit with Lucas Friar’s head.

“I really hate that kid,” Corey remarked.

“Hey, better him than Farkle.”

“No, see the nice thing about Farkle is she has absolutely no interest in him. Just like her mother with Stuart.”

“I think you and I have different Stewart’s in mind here, but whatever.”

“Oh, come on. He wasn’t that bad. I forget why we even hated him so much.”

“You don’t remember Trailer-Park Boy?”

“Huh?”

“Third grade? When he found out where I lived?”

The memories came rushing back into Cory's brain. “Oh, yeah. God, he was a little _shit_.”

“Yeah, he was. And I’m pretty sure his kid crossed the line between flirtation and sexual harassment about 10 seconds after they met.”

“You think I should say something?”

“Actually, I think it’s my turn.”

Shawn pointed to Farkle, who was badgering Maya about something.

They drew close enough to overhear the conversation.

“You love me.”

 “Leave me alone.”

“Oh, come on, Maya.”

Shawn stepped in between Farkle and Maya. “I think the lady said to leave her alone.”

Maya had never seen Shawn that angry. His whisper came out as a low growl, just soft enough not to be overheard, but with the implicit threat that Shawn would start yelling and make a scene if Farkle objected.

Farkle wilted before Shawn’s glare.

“And if I ever find out that you’ve laid a finger on either of my nieces without their express verbal permission, I will have you brought in on sexual assault charges and make sure your name is on the front page of every newspaper the Connor Media Group owns.”

Without saying anything, Farkle backed off and ran away. Shawn and Maya hung around long enough to not attract attention, and then Shawn drove her home with Noah in the backseat.

“Thanks, Uncle Shawn,” she said as they drove down Sunset Boulevard.

“Any time. If you’re ever in trouble, or…need an adult to talk to who isn’t your Mom, I’m there for you.”


End file.
